Wednesday 14 November 2012

Maybe Day 4 will meet my expectations

A four day entrepreneur conference boasting ‘the biggest business and entrepreneurial event of 2012’.  Ive seen the list of speakers and it looks impressive.  Well with a couple annual leave days left to use up before Christmas what could I possiblly have to lose?


No agenda had been provided prior to the first day, but hey that’s not unusual, it will be provided upon registration.  Surely?


So I arrive bright and early on Tuesday morning and join the crowds waiting to enter this monumental event.  Hungry, and in need of a nice cup of tea, I decide to wait until im settled since I dont want to lose my place and everyone else looks parched too.  Ah, we are allowed in.  Oh a massive big room with loads of chairs.  No hot drinks allowed.  Hmmm.  Marvellous.


My plan was to check when those very important people I wanted to see were speaking so i could work it around my ‘working from home’ commitments.  Plan fail.  And I wasn’t the only one up in arms with this clever little strategy of theirs.   Well, clever in that you feel as though you have to stay just a little bit longer in the mere hope that someone inspirational will appear anytime soon, whilst simultaneously making the large room look full (ish).  But perhaps stupid in the fact that no one will return next year.


So out comes the MC (Master of Ceremonies) a bloody yank, an annoying, loud yank as it turns out (no surprises there).  No i don’t want to shout out your name RAYMOND, or holler YEAH!, or any of that stuff.  Roll on the first speaker.


Ah Andy Harrington ‘the world’s leading public speaking expert’ - an hour drags by whilst he witters on with his ‘motivational speech’, it’s tolerable though cos Raymond said everyone was on for an hour.  Oh, Andy then informs us that he has another 2 hours left!  Right, that’s it I’m off, i have to be at work in the afternoon, and since Im actually there, I’m already ‘motivated’.


Day 2 (today) - I go for the afternoon - surely there will be someone who will instill me with some wisdom?  Ah, Marco Kozlowski (yes him!) another yank, a multi-millionaire who proceeds to pitch his $7k training course for 1.5 hours with loads of ‘YEAHs’, ‘hands-up guys’.  Claiming he could change our lives but of course he doesn’t inform us of this slight catch until the end, so we wait in vain hope for a little gem which doesn’t happen.  Followed by Jeff from the Industry Rockstars (also a yank) also pitching for 1.5 hours claiming that they too could make us millions if only we signed up for their course.   FFS.  I left.


So, Im giving tomorrow a miss.  But Friday, they claim is the day, the day the world erupts, the day the worlds elite, including President Clinton will bestow their knowledge upon us eager delegates.  With panel debates and everything!  I have high hopes and I’m sure they won’t be dashed.


The people who might return next year, are the minority who paid loads for their front row seats (I got my 4 day ticket for £17), shouted RAYMOND, YEAH!, ran up to the stage, jumped up and down, and will probably invest in a course which will make them millions.  Its lucky everyone isn’t as cynical and miserable I am.

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